Goodness

I fell asleep, awoke, snack abit, watched TV, surf the net, lie on bed, got irritated by not being able to fall sleep again, and here i'm typing this shitting thing at this shitting hour. Argh, it's been the whole week i couldn't get to sleep, and even if i managed to fall asleep i don't sleep well. It's killing me. And the pimples are popping out! Goodness!!!

I'm pretty busy and stress with the wedding preparation and people asking me about it. Well, not that i'm very reluctant to share, but just that i need a break lah. Sometimes, i just hope i can shut everyone of them up! Haa. Anyway, i do appreciate their concern of course.

The actual day is drawing close and i'm starting to feel nervous. Anxiety. I'm starting to worry what else have i not done or prepare, what other things we need to buy, etc etc. The list never seems to end. My tasks never seems to be completed. Oh god, we really deserve a good break man. Sponsors, pls???

And yah, i need lotsa hanging out with friends to lighten off my load manz! Call me, girls.

For now, I NEED TO SLEEP! ARGH!!!

I'm Blessed

Am staring blankly into the monitor. Not knowing what to do. Hubby is playing mahjong with his buddies and i'm done watching the HongKong drama. Really tired, but also this might be just a good time for me to update this little space of mine.

Woke up early this morning, packing the house for painting. Shifting and cleaning, shifting and cleaning. Oh man, only today i realised how much Hubby has dote on me. Since we started renovating the place, Hubby has always try to do things himself and work on his own. Everytime when there's cleaning and shifting to be done, he'll always give me the priviledge to lie on bed and enjoy watching my drama or surf the net. Today, i decided to help up abit since he needs to go to work this morning, and it was a torture to me. Just half a day, i can feel my bones breaking. Oh gosh, it's really killing me. But not a bad thing though, at least i know how much effort and physical strength Hubby has put in to build up this little cosy nest of ours. :)

Looking at him now, i felt really blissful and blessed. I'm laughing at myself for those times we fight like there's no tomorrow, i got really pissed off by him not fulfilling what i want, i pissed him off by throwing temper at him.

I'm an adult now. I must really grow up and understand the fact that, i'm not living for myself only. I've got a family to be responsible for, a future to look forward to, and of course not forgetting wanting to bring joy to the family by having KIDS! Yeah, kids rule!!! Haa~~~

Okie, i don't what i'm ranting about now. My mind is really switch off now. But i know, i can't wait to see my girls again. Oh by the way, our wedding pictures are ready. Should be able to share with you guys soon...

We're So In Love

Alright... So, many have been asking me who exactly is my Mr Right, my Husband-to-be, my partner for life. To kill the anticipation of everyone, let me introduce my fiance, Mr Thomas Koh.

Cool? Well, i'm not going to start typing his biography here for everyone, but there's something about him, everyone out there must know. That is, HE'S MINE! Haa!!!

I don't have time to share all our photos with you guys, but here are afew... Do enjoy our lovey dovey memories... ;p

We're still so very in love....

To Do or Not To

And so, when work comes in between the affairs of the heart, what is the last resort?! Resign. Yes, that's it. Because your boss won't resign, your boss's boss won't resign, your boss's boss's boss won't resign and the company's management won't change.

And makes you even more determine to resign?! Is when your hubby insisted on your resignation and make sure that he reminds you every other day that, today is the day. Tender, tender, TENDER!

Yes. Yes. Yes! I did it. Like after 1 whole month of struggling, i finally tender my resignation.

Of course, i made The Hubby the happiest man on earth. But i'm not quite sure if i am too. Apparently, i should and i do look so. But somehow, i just don't feel as good.

Anyway, what's done, is done! And i should be moving forward.

It's gonna be a real busy year end for me...

Is This Happening To Me?

If this amount of invoices didn't scare you off, don't worry, i've got alot more of them to show. Not mentioning those other miscellenous stuffs we bought for the big day. And the figures in all these invoices are slowly killing my excitment for our wedding... Haa!!!

Conclusion: Pls don't ever think of getting married if you don't have savings, or a better half who can afford, or if you're not filthy rich... ... ...

Okie, just kidding. But it pains my heart alot! Whahahaha... (Though i don't get to pay, but well, what's his is mine isn't it?! And so yah, it pains my heart!)

Anyway, we're really packed! We argued over alot of disagreements, miscommunication, lack of time and attention, the list goes on... The good thing is, we always managed to find our ways back into each other arms. And now, when each day ends, i get a little more nervous to our actual day.

I can't believe this is happening to me. I can't believe i'll be sharing life with someone else in 2 months time. I can't believe i'll be sharing the same bed with someone else every night. I can't believe i'll be starting life as someone else's daughter-in-law, someone else's wife. Omg~~~ I just can't believe this is happening to me!

Pls tell me i'm not dreaming, ain't i?!

Counting down... ... ... ...

Meeting My Parents

And so... Finally! Last evening, The Boyfriend dated my family for dinner at Lao Bei Jing, Tiong Bahru for dinner. The previous experienced there was bad. And mum really dislike the place. But we got no other choice as other restuarants were so packed! Anyway, last evening's dinner turned out to be good. The food was definately better than the previous time. And the service as well. However, there was this particular chinese lady who was really rude.

When i stepped into the restuarant, hoping someone will come asking for my total number of pax and offer to show me my sitting area, yet this bloody lady standing at the cashier asked me (in mandarin): "Miss, what do you want?!" What the f***! What do you mean what do i want? To eat of course, dumb arse! The Boyfriend shunned her and she actually act blur! Argh.. Lucky the other lady who serve us was nice, else i would have make sure they'll have a bloody good time from me.

Okie, and so.... Finally, last evening The Boyfriend break the news of his proposal to my parents and formally asked for my hand. Omg~~ I can't believe this is happening. They discuss some details for the marriage and the Actual Day (AD) of the wedding. And i'm so glad my parents and The Boyfriend can get along so well. It's been some time i see dad smile and laugh like last evening. He even cracked jokes! ;p

And so, the remaining 3 months will be very very very hectic for us. Let's enjoy it....

What Am I To Do

When you know you sent out an nasty email to your whole department, yet have no choice but to do so. And after you did that, you were supported by your GGM. What will you do?!

I've been contemplating on sending the above email the whole morning. But did so in the end cause it's part of my responsibility to ensure that we fulfill our cost saving measures this quarter. I know people will start talking. I know people will start to feel uncomfy with this email. But i don't have a choice. It's either i get the shit, or them. And since human beings are selfish by nature, i choose to do what i ought to do even when i know i'll not pleased everyone.

Will you choose to be in the good books of your bosses or your colleagues?

Bosses decide if you keep your arse firmed on the comfortable chair you sit on everyday. Colleagues help make your job easier by team work. It's difficult to set a balance between both sides. And the last thing i will want myself to be stucked with, is office politics. I know it's hard to avoid, but i wanna try my best to minimize.

Hmmm... ??? ??? ???

Sweetest Thing

GGM: "That is the sweetest thing that i've heard for a long time."
And so, my simple comment will actually brighten up someone else's day.

Be Contented

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.

Well, many times we come to realize that we took what we have and who we have for granted. And i'm guilty for that.

When i was still in school, i took my parents for granted. I expect them to provide me the best and gave me whatever i asked for. They did a great job being parents. Dad and Mum worked very hard to give me proper education, bought me books to make sure that i don't lose out in what i shouldn't, gave me tuition to further assist me in my studies, and now forgetting all the family outings that made my childhood such a wonderful one. Yet again, many times i disappointed them. By being defiant, stubborn and disrespectful. And when i started working, i must say i'm still guilty of not being filial. But, i've learned to appreciate them more and not take them for granted. I told myself, that i'll work harder than they had to provide them with a comfortable life. It's not gonna be easy, but i know this is what i should and must do.

Now, i'm seriously dating The Boyfriend and we're planning to settle down soon. I expect him to be there for me everytime i need him to. I want him to be the only one to be able to ease my emotions. When i needed comfort, i expect him to be there. And so, for these, i'm really guilty sometimes for taking him for granted. The Boyfriend always has this in mind: "No matter what you do, be it work or life, i just want you to be happy. I want a happy wife." He tried and is still trying to give me the best he could. And i know he's working very hard for our future. Everytime, if it's within his means, he'll give in to me. He doesn't complain. He doesn't think that it's not worth doing it. And i told myself too, for him, i'll be happy and go home being a happy girlfriend and in future a happy wife.

Be contented. Be appreciative.

Anxiousness of Foot Steps

There is one music i particularly listen to every morning... That is the anxiousness of foot steps of people. Every morning, i wake up the same time, do the same routine, walk the same route to the bus-stop to take a bus to the mrt station, then walk the same route to buy breakfast and head to the office. The only difference every working day, is the attire i wear.

Sometimes, i will wonder, am i gonna do this for the rest of my life? That'll be very depressing, seriously.

Anyway, just some random whining. I do have lotsa thoughts in mind, yet not very sure what is restricting me from pouring it out. Worst, even if i wanted to, i don't know where to start from.

Awww... What's wrong with me lately? I've keeping myself up way too long... ... ...

Tranquility

The Boyfriend is down with a high fever at 39.3degrees. If it's given me, i would have been lying flat on the white clean sheet in the hospital. Hope he gets well soon as he needs to go KL for work tomorrow.

On a side note, i've been really busy. Seriously, if you were to ask me exactly over what, i really don't know. But i just don't have the time to even sleep. I mean, yes, i sleep every night. But it's always pass midnight. The next moment i open my eyes, it's 6am, and it's time to prepare for work again.

Anyway, for those of you who are concern bout my new job, i'm doing fine and i'm happy with it.

You know, everything and everyone here in town are so fast pace. The streets are always busy. Everyone you passby are always busy yakking away on the phone or busy replying mails via their PDA phone. Vehicles always hurrying off to somewhere. Loved one might tend to neglect each other due to the little time they get to spend with each other. Well, of course, all these depends very much on individual and how you manage your priorities. But most of the time, we can't deny that the urge for us to earn a living is too overwhelming.

How nice can it be, if we could reward ourselves every now and then with the peace our mother earth can bring us. The tranquility. Sometimes, i wish i could stay far far far far away from the city.

Becase I Love You

Some time back...

Me: "Why do you love me?"
The Boyfriend: "I love you because you love me, because we care for each other, because you need me to sayang you to bed, because you greet me with a kiss every single time, because during bad times you'll still stand by me, because i wanna spend the rest of my life with you, because i want you to be the only one i see when i fall asleep and when i wake up, and because i really have got no reasons to lie or not love you, and because i want you the way you want me, i know i love you."

Sometimes, the silly me will asked The Boyfriend silly question like this. Not because i don't trust him or i've doubts in him. But because, i really had nothing in mind and had no other intentions.

Time flies. We've been through shit, we fight as much too. But above all these, we shared many great time together as a couple too. And at the end of each day, we yearn so much to be in each other's arms.

I've been away for work for a couple of days. And i knew i love The Boyfriend even more each passing day. Because when i'm all alone in that foreign land, i felt his love for me, the care and concern he showered me with, the importance of keeping his mobile fully charged for me just in case i call, and the comfort he gave me at night to coax me to sleep.

It's times like that, you realised how much someone truly care and love you. That no matter what happens, he just want you home safely by his side.

Like what he always say, "There're no particular reasons why i love you, because when i can find reasons to love you, i'll have reasons not to love you too. But i know i love you, because whatever happens, be it good or bad, as long as i've you with me, i know everything will be alright."

Different Aspects Rather Emotional

I'm going on a day off to go for an interview tomorrow. The company (which i shall only reveal if i get the job), has quite a good offer for me. And it's an industry which i'm interested in and crazy over. Well, they mentioned they like my profile. But liking my profile is one thing. Whether or not i get the job is another.

I'm rather excited about this interview. And i haven't had this kinda feeling for a long time. The last time i had this feeling was when i just graduated from school and was going for my first interview with StarHub.

This July and beginning of August has made me realised many things. That's i've grown up to a certain extend. And i've learn and start to view things at different aspects.

Was talking to Sharon one night at East Coast, and we were talking bout how time flies and how we've all grown into different path of life. Yeah man, we surely did grow. Some to the better, some still the same, some worst! But well, everyone has their own focus and purpose.

Some of us are still searching through ourselves, deciding which and what is best for us to do. What we wanna do and how we're gonna do it. Some of us might take a longer time to discover ourselves, but i guess that's part and parcel of life. And each phase is a learning journey.

For the past a year and a half, i've been through shit. Many heartbreaks and of course amongst these, there're happy priceless memories i'll wanna keep for the rest of my life. Many i cherish, be it good or bad. And looking back at how we've all moved on, somehow brought a smile to my face.

I know some point down this life journey, many of us will move on and lead our own lives. Maybe we'll lost contact. Maybe we won't get to see each other as often. Maybe we won't even have time to ring each other every now and then to whine. But, one thing for sure i know. That is, no matter what happens, we'll always remember once, we've each other. And will keep each other in our hearts for the whole lifetime!

Awww... I'm so emotional.

I've got so much to say yet so little time to convey. So much to say yet physically strained. All thanks to the sleepless nights this week.

Maybe one day, we shall catch up for a cuppa coffee instead!

Something Is Wrong

It's been awhile...

Well, things aren't going smoothly. Yet not as bad though.

I've been feeling rather empty and lost lately. Nothing seems to go right on track, people just seems to drift apart and emotions are heavy.

A part of me, wanna just let go of everything and just lead life as it is, do what i wanna do and be happy. Yet a part of me, is holding back. I don't know what's wrong.

Many times, i find myself trying very hard to run away from life. Hoping there was a corner i can go hide in. A quiet and peaceful corner where noone will find me, nothing will bother me, and most importantly, a corner where all i need to bother about, is myself.

I don't know if its because i have yet grow up or am i trying to avoid growing up. I no longer have answers to my own doubts.

Something is missing. Something is wrong. And i just don't know what...

Nothing Else Matters

If you wanna know what's the greatest blessing life can bring me, that will be...

The Boyfriend: "No matter what happens, i just want a happy wife. And even if we're only left with a bowl of rice, we'll still share and pull through. I respect you and your decisions. Whatever you think is right, do it. Remember, i want you to be happy. Love you."

Which then, i realised nothing else matters, except for me to stop crying and make The Boyfriend a happy man. Because every will has its way. And i'm sure a solution will come its way. I'll get outta this shit!

And i know clearly, i still have got a group of girls, ever willing to reach out their hands to hold onto me. And to give away packets and packers of Kleenex.

So Eugenia, what's wrong with you?! Be strong. Move on!