How Can I Not Worry?

Hmmm... What makes an expecting woman worried most???

When she see red!! Yes, yes. I'm having some kinda complications, called the Placenta Seperation. Accordingly to my gynea, mine is just minor as my placenta is not seperated from my uterus wall very badly. However, if it continue to 'split', then it'll be a very bad sign as my baby won't be able to get sufficent nutrients, water, food from me. Till date, everything is still under control and my baby is growing well. Still, how can i not worry???

On a side note, my tummy is showing now. I'm still eating alot. But i guess it's fine, as i eat with small portions every meals. I'm still having breakouts and losing alot of hair each day! I can't fit into my skirts, shorts and pants now. Sobz!!!

Need to get a fews new stretchable pants, shorts and skirts, and maybe some babydoll dresses. You know, maternity wears are really expensive!!! ;p

And oh yah, my sis had given birth to a lovely boy, Tino. Haven't have a chance to hold him in my arms yet. But will go visit them again soon. :)

I'm so random today. Very tired now. Bye... ...

A Long Time

Right, and so lately i've been really busy and tired. Busy giving tuition. Busy preparing assessments and test papers. Busy with household chores. With one word, BUSY!

It's been a really long long time i went on a date, hang out with friends till late, chilling out with my girls gossiping and chatting about everything under the sun, hogged the DVD player and TV watching my endless HongKong dramas, stayed online surfing any other websites... ... ...

I need a break! A holiday, maybe. A treat to pamper myself.

Phew~~~

Counting Down To CNY

CNY begins on Monday. Since last weekend, we've been busy buying new year goodies, doing the spring cleaning, stocking up food to cook, etc etc. This year's special to me, cause there are 2 families Hubby and i need to visit. Reunion dinner with 2 families as well. Today, we had our reunion dinner with my in-laws and tomorrow we'll be having reunion dinner with my parents. After which, we'll all go to River Angpow and to the temple. I'm so looking forward to it.

I specially love CNY. Not because i get to receive red packets but i love the fact that the family get together, do nothing but just spend time together. And this year, Hubby and i experienced the 'feel' of preparing red packets to be given out. Gosh!!!

I'm so excited!!

P/S: I've got lotsa photos to upload for all the outings and events that we've attended or organized, but i've so little time to 'glue' myself infront of the lappy to do so. And i'm very sure after CNY, i'll have even more photos to share. Phew~~~!!!

Have a great CNY everyone!!!

Losing Patience

And so... I've been losing my patience very easily and frequently lately. Just the slightest thing that happened can trigger that damn flame in me! Of course, my poor Hubby has been putting up with this.

Hmmm... I don't know what has gotten into me. Maybe i all i need is some alone time.

Ah, just let me run away for awhile... ... ...

Impatient

Recently i'm stucked with this new hongkong drama, 珠光寶氣. And i'm really getting very impatient with it. Due to its new realise, DVD rental shops doesn't have this drama in full set yet. Therefore, i'm always going down to them asking for the latest episode. ARGH!!!

How i wish i'm in hongkong now... So that i can catch every episode on time. Haa!!!

Hubby is going nuts with me complaining to him over this. HAA!!!

All I See Is Myself

What pisses you most on a weekend or a public holiday?! It's when you tried so hard to wake the log up beside you , yet fail, then you try so hard to fall asleep again, yet can't cause of that damn air-con that's making so much noise, and then now, more than half of the day has passed, you're up all alone sitting infront of the damn monitor typing this! OMG~~~ How interesting can any weekends or public holiday be?!

It's always the case. When we plan activities or chores to do together the next day, he'll have to sleep in the whole damn day. Then only wakes up when everyone else is turning in. And then keep complaining that the dateline is getting closer, he's very stress, very tired, etc. Who else isn't tired and stress?! Everyone is. Who wants to spend any weekends or public holidays just by sleeping it away?! I bet nobody wants to too. But argh well, i've lost heart! I started to look into the mirror and talk to myself...

Everywhere i go, i only see myself...!!!

Goodness

I fell asleep, awoke, snack abit, watched TV, surf the net, lie on bed, got irritated by not being able to fall sleep again, and here i'm typing this shitting thing at this shitting hour. Argh, it's been the whole week i couldn't get to sleep, and even if i managed to fall asleep i don't sleep well. It's killing me. And the pimples are popping out! Goodness!!!

I'm pretty busy and stress with the wedding preparation and people asking me about it. Well, not that i'm very reluctant to share, but just that i need a break lah. Sometimes, i just hope i can shut everyone of them up! Haa. Anyway, i do appreciate their concern of course.

The actual day is drawing close and i'm starting to feel nervous. Anxiety. I'm starting to worry what else have i not done or prepare, what other things we need to buy, etc etc. The list never seems to end. My tasks never seems to be completed. Oh god, we really deserve a good break man. Sponsors, pls???

And yah, i need lotsa hanging out with friends to lighten off my load manz! Call me, girls.

For now, I NEED TO SLEEP! ARGH!!!

I'm Blessed

Am staring blankly into the monitor. Not knowing what to do. Hubby is playing mahjong with his buddies and i'm done watching the HongKong drama. Really tired, but also this might be just a good time for me to update this little space of mine.

Woke up early this morning, packing the house for painting. Shifting and cleaning, shifting and cleaning. Oh man, only today i realised how much Hubby has dote on me. Since we started renovating the place, Hubby has always try to do things himself and work on his own. Everytime when there's cleaning and shifting to be done, he'll always give me the priviledge to lie on bed and enjoy watching my drama or surf the net. Today, i decided to help up abit since he needs to go to work this morning, and it was a torture to me. Just half a day, i can feel my bones breaking. Oh gosh, it's really killing me. But not a bad thing though, at least i know how much effort and physical strength Hubby has put in to build up this little cosy nest of ours. :)

Looking at him now, i felt really blissful and blessed. I'm laughing at myself for those times we fight like there's no tomorrow, i got really pissed off by him not fulfilling what i want, i pissed him off by throwing temper at him.

I'm an adult now. I must really grow up and understand the fact that, i'm not living for myself only. I've got a family to be responsible for, a future to look forward to, and of course not forgetting wanting to bring joy to the family by having KIDS! Yeah, kids rule!!! Haa~~~

Okie, i don't what i'm ranting about now. My mind is really switch off now. But i know, i can't wait to see my girls again. Oh by the way, our wedding pictures are ready. Should be able to share with you guys soon...

To Do or Not To

And so, when work comes in between the affairs of the heart, what is the last resort?! Resign. Yes, that's it. Because your boss won't resign, your boss's boss won't resign, your boss's boss's boss won't resign and the company's management won't change.

And makes you even more determine to resign?! Is when your hubby insisted on your resignation and make sure that he reminds you every other day that, today is the day. Tender, tender, TENDER!

Yes. Yes. Yes! I did it. Like after 1 whole month of struggling, i finally tender my resignation.

Of course, i made The Hubby the happiest man on earth. But i'm not quite sure if i am too. Apparently, i should and i do look so. But somehow, i just don't feel as good.

Anyway, what's done, is done! And i should be moving forward.

It's gonna be a real busy year end for me...

Sweetest Thing

GGM: "That is the sweetest thing that i've heard for a long time."
And so, my simple comment will actually brighten up someone else's day.

Anxiousness of Foot Steps

There is one music i particularly listen to every morning... That is the anxiousness of foot steps of people. Every morning, i wake up the same time, do the same routine, walk the same route to the bus-stop to take a bus to the mrt station, then walk the same route to buy breakfast and head to the office. The only difference every working day, is the attire i wear.

Sometimes, i will wonder, am i gonna do this for the rest of my life? That'll be very depressing, seriously.

Anyway, just some random whining. I do have lotsa thoughts in mind, yet not very sure what is restricting me from pouring it out. Worst, even if i wanted to, i don't know where to start from.

Awww... What's wrong with me lately? I've keeping myself up way too long... ... ...

Tranquility

The Boyfriend is down with a high fever at 39.3degrees. If it's given me, i would have been lying flat on the white clean sheet in the hospital. Hope he gets well soon as he needs to go KL for work tomorrow.

On a side note, i've been really busy. Seriously, if you were to ask me exactly over what, i really don't know. But i just don't have the time to even sleep. I mean, yes, i sleep every night. But it's always pass midnight. The next moment i open my eyes, it's 6am, and it's time to prepare for work again.

Anyway, for those of you who are concern bout my new job, i'm doing fine and i'm happy with it.

You know, everything and everyone here in town are so fast pace. The streets are always busy. Everyone you passby are always busy yakking away on the phone or busy replying mails via their PDA phone. Vehicles always hurrying off to somewhere. Loved one might tend to neglect each other due to the little time they get to spend with each other. Well, of course, all these depends very much on individual and how you manage your priorities. But most of the time, we can't deny that the urge for us to earn a living is too overwhelming.

How nice can it be, if we could reward ourselves every now and then with the peace our mother earth can bring us. The tranquility. Sometimes, i wish i could stay far far far far away from the city.

Different Aspects Rather Emotional

I'm going on a day off to go for an interview tomorrow. The company (which i shall only reveal if i get the job), has quite a good offer for me. And it's an industry which i'm interested in and crazy over. Well, they mentioned they like my profile. But liking my profile is one thing. Whether or not i get the job is another.

I'm rather excited about this interview. And i haven't had this kinda feeling for a long time. The last time i had this feeling was when i just graduated from school and was going for my first interview with StarHub.

This July and beginning of August has made me realised many things. That's i've grown up to a certain extend. And i've learn and start to view things at different aspects.

Was talking to Sharon one night at East Coast, and we were talking bout how time flies and how we've all grown into different path of life. Yeah man, we surely did grow. Some to the better, some still the same, some worst! But well, everyone has their own focus and purpose.

Some of us are still searching through ourselves, deciding which and what is best for us to do. What we wanna do and how we're gonna do it. Some of us might take a longer time to discover ourselves, but i guess that's part and parcel of life. And each phase is a learning journey.

For the past a year and a half, i've been through shit. Many heartbreaks and of course amongst these, there're happy priceless memories i'll wanna keep for the rest of my life. Many i cherish, be it good or bad. And looking back at how we've all moved on, somehow brought a smile to my face.

I know some point down this life journey, many of us will move on and lead our own lives. Maybe we'll lost contact. Maybe we won't get to see each other as often. Maybe we won't even have time to ring each other every now and then to whine. But, one thing for sure i know. That is, no matter what happens, we'll always remember once, we've each other. And will keep each other in our hearts for the whole lifetime!

Awww... I'm so emotional.

I've got so much to say yet so little time to convey. So much to say yet physically strained. All thanks to the sleepless nights this week.

Maybe one day, we shall catch up for a cuppa coffee instead!

Something Is Wrong

It's been awhile...

Well, things aren't going smoothly. Yet not as bad though.

I've been feeling rather empty and lost lately. Nothing seems to go right on track, people just seems to drift apart and emotions are heavy.

A part of me, wanna just let go of everything and just lead life as it is, do what i wanna do and be happy. Yet a part of me, is holding back. I don't know what's wrong.

Many times, i find myself trying very hard to run away from life. Hoping there was a corner i can go hide in. A quiet and peaceful corner where noone will find me, nothing will bother me, and most importantly, a corner where all i need to bother about, is myself.

I don't know if its because i have yet grow up or am i trying to avoid growing up. I no longer have answers to my own doubts.

Something is missing. Something is wrong. And i just don't know what...

Just to Kill Time

It's a rainy boring morning...

Which Disney Princess Am I?

You are Belle. You are strong, deep, and you are not a slave to petty superficial things. You are independent and allow yourself to see inner beauty without sacrificing your values. You are almost too good of a person

Which Part of The World Should I Live In?

You should live in Paris. The city of lights will appeal to your appreciation of beauty and romance. You are a lover and a poet by nature, and Paris' sensitive charms will be a perfect match for yours.

Which Sex and The City Character Am I?

You are Carrie. You know what you want out of a relationship and you're not afraid to keep moving until you get it. Wit and charm are your biggest turn-ons, and you like guys who appreciate you for your mind as much as your body. You have fun playing the dating game, but secretly you just can't wait to find the guy who sweeps you off your feet and carries you into the sunset.

Forgiveness

True forgiveness isn't easy, but it transforms us significantly. To forgive is to love and to feel worthy of love. In that sense, it is always worthwhile.

Forgiveness is love in its most noble form.

Embrace Imperfections

Time flies. Zoom... Half of year 2008 is almost gone! And the useless bum in me is still hanging around. Oh gosh. When oh when can i just stand up with my own feet and just face reality?!

Anyway, i must say things are picking up and i just hope i'll be able to handle and manage life as it comes. Well, i always have to remember: relax, calm down, and breathe... Things aren't that bad and think positive!

"Alright, hang on Eugenia! There're more to look forward to. More responsibilites awaiting you to fulfill. More beautiful things to rejoice over."

Real love doesn't demand perfection but embraces imperfection.

Tears Only Make You Dependant

Lately, i've been really lost, or rather, i'm such a loser. Growing up is tough. Making decisions are tough. Having to learn to survive in this pragmatic world is tough. Having to challenge against myself emotionally and mentally is tough. To not have someone to understand how you feel and what you're going through is tough.

... ... ...

Overall, life is tough. And tears only make us more dependant.

Tightness in My Chest

I'll be setting off for a weekend get-away at Harris Batam Resort tomorrow afternoon, with The Boyfriend. Oh, i'm so looking forward. (Shall update once i'm back on Monday.)

This morning i was feeling rather unwell. The tightness in my chest is really killing me sometimes. I tried so hard to concentrate on my breathing so as to ease the pain. You know, i've got this same kinda shit a few years back. And that was when i was still teaching in school and studying part-time at night. Back then, it was worst. Cause i've got very bad migranes. My doctor's advices are to relax, breathe slowly, and slow down my foot steps. He thinks i'm too tensed. Okie, fine. So i took up Yoga. I started to let things come its way, and slow down my pace. Things got pretty much better i must say. So much so that i don't feel that tightness in my chest anymore.

Yet lately, this sucky feeling came back again. I'm not teaching, neither am i studying part-time now. At first, The Boyfriend and i thought maybe i'm too stress up about our wedding preparation and such. But nope! I realised last night that it's not the reason. The Boyfriend was pretty worried at first, as he thought i got so stressed up about marrying him that i almost break down.

And... The fact is... I don't know what am i really stress over too!

Have you guys have got this feeling when sometimes, you just wanna be left all alone? You don't wanna talk, you don't give a damn bout what's happening around you, you don't care how people look at you when you're walking along the streets or window-shopping aimlessly in a big mall alone. Even the most urgent matter don't seems urgent to you! Oh well, i felt this way lately. Yet when The Boyfriend asked, i didn't know how to explain to him.

This morning i felt that tightness in my chest again. I felt so restless. So sick. So terrible horrible. Till i got this,

The Boyfriend: "Baby, please consult a doctor, we have a holiday tomorrow my dear. Promise me to rest well today and enjoy the weekend with me. Please darling, please!

And my replied was such a pain-in-the-arse, "How to? I think i need to over time tonight."

The Boyfriend: "But you're not feeling well, you know. And i got ops tonight, won't be able to pick you."
Me: "It's fine. I'll be better off alone."
The Boyfriend: "No dear. :( My heart pain."

Argh, I'm such a bitch sometimes.

An Hour

"If am left with an hour to live, i'll wanna spend my last hour with you. To share with you all our good times and will want you to know that i appreciate having you through our tough times as well. And when i'm left with an hour to love, i'll want you to slow down with life and listen to yourself, feel your heart, cause that's where i'll always be..."

Had a long and lonely journey home last night after dinner with Felicia. While listening to my MP3 and looking outta bus's window, observing every moving traffic, i start to realise how short an hour is. Yes, the journey might be long. But when you stop the rush and slow down to look at things, appreciating it, an hour is really a very short period.

The Boyfriend always say: "We've a whole lifetime to do whatever we wanna do together." Yet, he didn't realise how short even an hour is. Yes, the fact that he emphasis on how much he can't wait to spend the rest of his life with me and how much he loves me, sometimes i just hope he'd slow down a little bit to sit beside me, appreciate what we have and to just spend some quiet time together.

The Boyfriend always tried his best to provide me with everything and giving me what he can, and he is still trying. But never did he know that, i don't need him to earn big bucks, i don't need all of his time or even expect him to put me in his first priority in every situations. All i need is just a little bit of his time to share with me his life and to share with me my life.

On a side note, my family have been really encouraging and comforting as well. My parents have stood by me all these while when i needed their TLC the most. My sister has been a great company and a great help on The Boyfriend's side business as well. Sarah has grown up so much and is healthy and strong. Love her to bits. Her smile just never fail to put a smile on my face as well..

Friends: Have been making effort to catch up with some friends every other day for dinner and such. And hearing them share what had happened to them lately is really interesting. And also made me realised how much i've neglected my friends. How much i haven't been listening to them. And how much i've forgot that as much as i needed to be there for me, they need me to be there for them too. I really hope that at any point of time, if i render any help, i would really love to reach out my hands.

Well, i don't know what it is that's on my mind now. Maybe i'm just feeling a little moody and exhuasted. Whatever it is, i hope this phase pass soon...